The Doing-Being Test

I have been a little down. The attendance and participation at CPC is stagnating. Somehow, I feel I am responsible. I am responsible to get more people here—to get more people to give—so the church can afford me, the youth director, and expand its ministries. Perhaps, I am failing. Perhaps, I am not qualified for this position. I know better than this—I know this is God’s ministry and God has called me here. But in the back of my mind—I feel I am responsible to do.

I have been preaching about the Exodus and the wanderings in the Wilderness. How God was testing the Israelites to form them into the people he wanted them to be. Perhaps God is testing CPC—he is testing me. I have failed the test. Instead of rely on him, I rely on myself. I feel I must be the doing—instead of just being the child of God he wants me to be—instead of just allowing God to transform me.

That is the thought that hit me. I need to trust and be patience; God put me and CPC together. I (we) need to trust that He is going to provide. He will provide—He is providing.